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Bad bad back

I received some pretty disappointing news last week. I’m still processing it, but for the past few years this has been a good place for me to get my thoughts together, so here goes.

Short version:
I am fairly certain that I will need pretty major back surgery at some point this year. It’s essentially the same surgery that I had in July 2006 (I wrote about that here), after an MRI found a benign tumor in my spinal column. The f-ing tumor has grown back. Right now, I’m thinking that I’ll do it in early December, but that could change. Having surgery again shouldn’t have come as a huge surprise, but I definitely wasn’t expecting it.

Long version:
Most of the background is in my blog post from just before my first Ironman in 2007. It was the four year anniversary of the surgery and between that and the up-coming Ironman, I was feeling emotional and grateful. In case you don’t feel like reading all that, essentially, I was having pain in my leg and after trying things like PT, massage, acupuncture and chiropractic treatment, I had an MRI. The MRI discovered a tumor in my spinal column which was impinging some nerves and causing my pain. So, we found the best neurosurgeon the East Coast and he took it out. Or most of it at least. And that’s the issue now.

Dr. McCormick had to walk (or cut) a fine line between removing as much of the tumor as possible on the one hand and not risking clipping any nerves or my spinal cord on the other. So he did the best he could and got most of the tumor. I’ve been going back for annual follow-up MRIs ever since. After the 2007 follow-up MRI (I think), Dr. McCormick told me that he noticed that the tumor was starting to grow. Just a very very little bit, but enough for him to notice. He said the same thing in 2008. I missed my summer 2009 MRI but made it up in January. And I finally talked to Dr. McCormick last Wednesday. He said that the tumor has grown back to the point that he recommends I have surgery again. I’m not having any symptoms and it’s not doing any “damage” but he feels that it will start affecting me at some point in the relatively-near future and if I wait too long, the surgery could get more difficult and more complicated. He suggests doing the surgery this calendar year.

Of course, I’ll get a second opinion. But I trust Dr. McCormick and if the tumor’s there and growing, then it’ll have to come out at some point. And really, why wait?

I was a bit foolish to let this surprise me. I mean, really, if after just 4 years it was noticeably growing, why would I think that I could go the rest of my life without it growing “enough” to require the surgery? My question now (and the one everyone else is asking) is: Does this mean that I’ll have to go under the knife every seven years? There’s no way of knowing, but I’ll just hope that between now and 2017, medicine has developed some other method to remove these stupid tumors. And if not by then, then hopefully by 2024 or 2031!!

As of now, I’m thinking that I’ll do the surgery right after Thanksgiving. I don’t want to miss my races this summer and if I’m going to wait until at least after Angeles Crest, I’m not going to do it before Loren’s wedding on October 30. Seven years ago, it was just a matter of a few weeks between discovering the tumor and having surgery. I didn’t have time to really prepare, but I also didn’t have too much time to think about it. This time, I’ll have plenty of time for both.

The fact that I’ve gone through this once before is some comfort. I know that it should only suck for a short period of time. And then, I’ll be better. (At least for some number of years…). Last time, after the surgery I was in the hospital for a few days and then out of work for six weeks. But, it was only a few days after I got out before I was taking short walks and not too much longer before I was able to do most everyday activities. I don’t remember how long it was before I was working out again, but I assume it was a while. I know that on February 8, 2004 (seven months out), I ran a 10K in Central Park in 49:11. Not so fast by my current standards, but it means that I must have been training somewhat regularly before that. Finally, I know that the tumor is benign. Last time around, Dr. McCormick was “almost positive” it was benign, but couldn’t be sure until the biopsy after the surgery. As an added bonus, the 7 1/8 inch scar along my spine will serve as a nice road-map for the surgeon’s incision!

Despite all that and no matter what I tell people, I am scared. But I’m not really scared of having surgery. (For some reason, I don’t even consider all the things that could go wrong that day. I’ll be in good – the best – hands.) I’m more scared of the process. The worst part of it last time was walking into the OR prep room right before the surgery. The first few days of recovery were pretty crappy also. And I don’t like the feeling that other people are worried for/about me; it just makes my stomach ache.

I’m disappointed about losing the fitness that I’ve worked so hard to get over the last seven years. In the grand scheme, it’s not a big deal and people have come back from much worse, but it’s still a huge bummer. At least I should be able put off the surgery until I get through my planned races for this year. I’m really happy that I scheduled an exciting race season – LA Marathon, Oceanside 70.3, Ragnar Relay, Angeles Crest 100 and hopefully a few others here and there. But this does add some urgency to the season. In addition to hoping I’m prepared in time and able to avoid injury, I’m racing against time and this little f-ing tumor. I won’t say that 2010 is my only shot at running a 100 miles, but it could be my best shot. So I definitely don’t want to miss out. (No matter what I race this year, I still have a long list of races I want to do in my life, so I’ll do everything I can to come back strong. For 2011 though, I might have to be content with a lot of easy training and volunteering at races.)

So what now? First thing, I’ll get a second opinion. But I’m not real optimistic about that. Second, I’ll start talking to surgeons on the west coast and decide whether I’ll go back to Dr. McCormick in NYC to have the surgery or get someone out here. Third, I’ll keep my fingers crossed that I remain symptom-free and able to do what I want this year before the surgery. Then, finally, I’ll have the friggin’ operation and keep my fingers tightly crossed that it will be relatively easy and I’ll bounce right back.

Now, back to the good news. LA Marathon in 5 days! Yee Haw!!

Run – Mar 14
Distance: 10.5 miles
Time: 1:37
Course: Chantry Flats (San Gabriel Mtns)
Conditions: Clear, cold (high 40s/low 50s)

Strength – Mar 14

Swim – Mar 15
Distance: 2,406 yards (2,200 meters)
Time: 45 min

Run – Mar 16
Distance: 4.5 miles
Time: 35 min.
Course: Neighborhood
Conditions: Sunny, low 60’s